If you had asked me exactly 18 months ago, when our twins were only 2 days old, if I wanted to go through the pregnancy process with Molly and/or have newborns again, I’m not sure what I would have said. I was simultaneously overwhelmed at the prospect of being responsible for two lives, taking care of my post-op wife, and already sleep deprived to boot.
If you had asked me the same question when they were 2 months old, I would have laughed, and probably cursed, in your face.
But as soon as they began sleeping through the night, and as they’ve continued to get older, the idea of more kids has shifted from are-you-even-kidding-me-let-me-punch-you-in-the-face-for-even-suggesting-it to something we both want. Molly is convinced we would have twins again – Lord, help us if that happens because we’ll need it – but I’m fairly confident that we’d have a shot at a singleton.
We’ve known a couple of people who have gotten (almost) all of their fertility stuff paid for by the health insurance company both Molly and I now have. So, instead of going with the private fertility clinic that helped us successfully get pregnant with our twins, we’ve decided to give our healthcare insurance facility a chance first, with the hopes they will also pay for our fertility procedures. I’m a little hesitant to go with a new place, because we successfully got pregnant on the first try at the fertility center we used last time. But maybe that was luck, maybe it was just a coincidence, maybe it was just our time. Still, I definitely don’t want to do any less monitoring or take a less-aggressive method than what was successful last time so if that’s what they suggest, then we’ve decided that we’ll just get as much done as we can through the health insurance provider (bloodwork, other tests, etc.), and we can always take those results back to our outside fertility clinic and go from there.
So today I drove our two 18-month olds in our minivan over to our healthcare provider’s office to fill out and sign my part of the initial fertility questionnaire. Based on how the questions were asked, it was not necessary to reveal my trans* status so we’ll see how they react. Because I was just added to Molly’s policy, my personal health information and trans* status is not yet in their system; however, they also requested copies of all previous fertility procedures and treatments so it’s probably written in there somewhere anyway.
It goes without saying that there are a lot of issues to consider when thinking about having more kids. How will it change the lives of our current kids? What happens if we run out of vials of our donor – would we choose another one (wow, that’s fodder for a whole post in itself). Can we financially afford to have more, especially given the rough economic times and difficulties finding jobs? How are we going to make sure Molly is able to spend more time with the kid(s) after birth? What if we have twins again? All of these are things we are thinking about, but we don’t necessarily need to have definitive answers to right now. After all, we’re just filling out paperwork, right?